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Instagram: @Magykid412 Reedsy, Casting Call Club: Dakota Red Wattpad: DakotaRed4

Eight hundred milligrams, the doctor said. Two white discs stare up at me on the counter, small beside the glass of water. Stupid little things. I look away.

I first heard the buzzing while I was considering whether or not I could pull off a male voice. I had a typical day-off setup. I sat on my bed in my small, cluttered room, leaning against the wall behind me, computer opened on my lap. Hoodie and sweatpants, hair greasy and unbrushed, you get the idea. I was browsing voice acting auditions, as was a hobby of mine, and one particular role struck me as something that could be fun. The only problem was, the character was male. I’d done male voices before, but typically for little boys. …

Truth. Truth is all I wanted. Well, that and a box of Andes Chocolate Mints. At that moment, with my stomach growling, and my mind racing, I couldn’t figure which one was more urgent. But either way, it caused me to walk willingly into a sketchy gas station downtown that smelled of smoke, and sour milk.

By the time I step outside, the leaves are on fire. Autumn has arrived, and it’s going to rain. I hate autumn, and I hate the rain.

Meg knew she was a background character. Or a side character, on lucky days. But never a protagonist. Never a love interest. Never a villain. And thank goodness for that, she told herself. They seemed to have the most troubles.

Olive drummed her fingers on the wood grain with suffocating impatience.

Another embarrassment. Gregory Weller rubbed his tired eyes. He’d gotten so far this time.

The whole mess began like a domino effect the moment Jolin spat in Gunner Keggin’s face. The Dead Dog Saloon was a bar notorious for outbursts and fights, and Keggin did have a talent for pissing people off, so Jolin’s mistake shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise to everyone watching. (And believe me, everyone was watching). Only this wasn’t just any loser’s face. This was Gunner Keggin. You don’t mess with Keggin.

They were out of strawberries.

Sometimes, dumb characters are iconic, fun, and memorable. And sometimes… well, sometimes we get characters like Jar Jar Binks. So how do you give your audience a character that’s dumb enough to be funny, but not annoying? Here’s a quick guide to get you started.

Dakota Red

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